Tuesday, October 25, 2005
inevitable = impossible to avoid or prevent. a new word learn todae. HAHA..
derek hse.
life wasnt smooth for my good brather ｄｅｒｅｋ ，ｌｉｏｎｅｌ（ｆｏｒｅｖｅｒ）this few daes n for me too.. mayb u all can sae. we ask for it. but.. there is still but. haix. wtf! tt tiny drop of thing jus flow down liddat. which i dunno y. haha. i m rrly a big fucker. (ym jus reminded me) ha! i m jus a guy tt always get angry wif u for no reason. i m jus an idiot tt onli know how to get angry. i m jus some petty idiot. some !@#$ asshole . but do u know.. ARGHHHGHGHHGHHHB!!!!!!!!!!!! forget it. o level is comin n we are gettin ourself into all this shit.. y? y? y? y?!!!!!!!! argh!
ookiee..
我想学会自我催眠。。 痛觉会少一些。。 可是我只是在逃避. 不过不逃避我还能做么。。 现在我的幽默只是掩饰我的心痛我的难过。。好希望你能懂我。可是我会不说，不想说。怕说了也没有用。只会更难过。。好想就这样忘了，走了，没有难过。。可 是世上就是还有可是。。 ａｒｇｈ！！！！！！！！！！１
⥠i didnt know how hard i could cry
2:19 AM
Friday, October 21, 2005
argh. realise i haf nt blog for a week. nth much happen except tt inccident at rp bus stop on mon.
...
went nite class. den variinice. den derek me pam accompny jt to wait for her bus. her bus came. n she was sort of crappin wif me. den i push her up the bus. she hit the board of the bus. makin such a big noise.but in fact she was actin. wtf. den this 3 guy follow us after tt to the opp. bus stop. confronted us. say we diao them. we ask pam to leave first n den haf a tok wif them. they say we stare them den sae i xl push jt blah blah n sae i look at their gf. excuses to beat us. in the end we were beaten up . derek the one tt was more serious. all i can see is WTF.
ookiee.
wo bu shi bai chi. wo bu shi bai chi. wo bu shi bai chi. qing ni bu yao zai zhe yang kan dai wo hao ma?
⥠i didnt know how hard i could cry
12:31 AM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
sch was boring todae. fuckin ansar make me slp like a pig in class todae. lol
party at 120.went 120 todae. hong heng gatherin . lol . was kind of high jus now until i kick derek stupid knee. he was teachin us kungfu on blockin den i gotto kick him. i kick n he block wif his knee. it land right on my left ankle. i gt a injury on there last time. the pain was so terrible tt i almosst cried. and now i m limpin. ya man! limping. haha. but i dun blame him. its my fault.
ookiee.thought tt after scoldin her i shall nt bother but her anymore. thinkin tt mayb nt interactin wif her will make me feel better. so i gif her tt fuckin attitude. wo yi wei zhe yang wo hui bi jiao hao yi dian. but.. sigh. ni mei you cuo. there's no nid for u to apologise. feel so fuckin bad inside when u sae tt sorry. i m the one in the wrong. nt u. rrly. i m jus a bastard. a selfish bastard.the look on ur face make me feel like tellin u i m so fuckin sorrie. rrly. wo bu xiang zai bei shang hai le. ke shi. wo zui bu dao mei you ni de ri zi. sigh. was glad tt now we r back to our crappin terms. but. i .. sigh.
⥠i didnt know how hard i could cry
11:33 PM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
brather.well. jus read a blog tt i hope i nvr manage to see it. sigh. here it comes. i haf this brother. i treat him as my best brather. he someone tt is dammn fuckin good but yet i took advantage of it. i scold him i slap him i beat him whenever i feelin nt happi. no. even i am happi i still scold him. wad a fucktard asshole i am. compared to him i m jus a idiot tt onli know how to crap. nt serious. idiot. kaobei. stupid. failure. uncomfortable. awkward. one big fat lump of shit. i haf another brather. one of my best brather too. well. another one tt i always xialan . or so call bully. yes. i m a big bully too. i deserve another fuckin scoldin. i am an asshole. although this is how i treat him he still try to help me wif tt someone. crap wif me . treat me nicely. wad i motherfuccker i am rite. compare to him i m jus a idiot who try to act funny, try to act cute. arghhhhhh.. n once gain a big fat lump of shit. n here . another brather of mine. i known him for fuckin nine years! since pri2. yes. his attitude wasnt tt good sometimes. but yet i know mine are still worse den him. i bullied him . xia lan himm. sort of backstab him. wad a cb kia i man. argh! fucker i am. despite all this. he still teach me maths. help me out. n try to tok to me nicely. try to gif in to me. yet. i still xialan him. like i am his boss he must listen to my command. n sometimes becos of some thing i didnt even treat him as my brather at all. i m n asshole. BIG time. compared to him i m like a idiot. asshole. cb kia. failure. blah blah.
well this are my answer to myself for y i am such a failure.
arghi m kaobei. lump of shit. a pig tt roll on mud. blahblahblah. i knoe u dont mean it. i didnt take it into heart too. i know it sound .. bbut . aiyah . argh. i tried to act like an idiot. crap. lame. jus hopin tt when u tok to me u wont feel awkward , weird , strange and so on. n before i read tt. i thought it was workin well. but. shucks.. i still let u feel weird when tokin to me or being left alone. haha. wad a idiot i am when i think of tt. i thought by makin u luff by being an idiot its better. but. argh. you told me tt u r sad . i try to console u but in the end i jus make u feel weird. haha. wad a failure i am. yes. i am an idiot. i thought mayb by doin this at least i can let u feel comfortable tokin to me but. hha. its other guys tt gif u tt feelin. haha! i wanted to treat u good. rrly. but i dun know how. or maybe i dunno how so tt u wont feel weird. k, i m jus hum ji. to u ppl. but. nvm.. yes. i did lie to u abt alot of things n den tell u i m lyin when u believe me. i may be like a fuckin big fat LIAR to u. but. i did tt jus to entertain u . thinkin tt by doin maybe i could make u feel entertained. but. hearing it fr others tt u sae i always xialan u stupid by lyin to u. i rrly feel ctl. n mayb i m jus an idiot.i jus wan u to enjoy tokin to me. tts all. but.sigh nvm..i thought tt nite on msn i finally got to tok to the inner u. feelin so happi. n in the end its jus a... sigh. i tried to do little things tt can make u happi. i didnt dare to make it look too obvious cos simply i m hum ji . tt dae at playground i thought mayb u will feel better after all dis but..
ookieesometimes i rrly hope tt i can return to the dae where we were workin. tt time we r able to do so mani thing tt we wont feel awkward all this. at least at tt time i know tt i know u. sigh. maybe derek ish rite.i dunno how to love someone. i am shit.
⥠i didnt know how hard i could cry
3:47 AM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
results
got back my prelim final result. R4 i got 28 r5 41. how they hell they calculate . i dunno know how the hell they calculate tt.
nite study
could not concentrate to do anything at all. went there for 2 hours and i onli did 5 mcq qns. nabei. scolded someone when we were goin home. dunno wads wrong wif me. jus fuckup. sigh.
ookiee
yao he ni suo dui bu qi que suo bu chu kou. wo.. haix suan le ba. wo hen kao bei la. argh!!!!! dbq zhe 3 ge zi zhen mo, na mo nan suo chu kou. wo ye bu zhi dao. sigh.
⥠i didnt know how hard i could cry
11:30 PM
Friday, October 07, 2005
my modem was confiscated by my great mum. could not online for the whole week. dammn fuckup by it. anyone one to donate a modem to me? u would be truely appreciated. sigh.
life.
everydae was slp.sch.slp.nite class.soccer.home. life without com ish terrible. lol . currently at lionel hse now. wif kok jian seng. celebratin end of n level.. beer for me n pop for them. lol . when ish my turn to celbrate end of o level?? lol.
ookieeyou hao duo hao duo de shi wo suo bu chu kou. zhi neng jiao ni bu yao shang xin. bu yao nan guo. wo xiang. wo zhi neng zhe yang zuo ba. jiu lang shi jian ba ni de shang tong man man de dai zhou ba. sigh. let us enjoy our secondary life ba. after this few daes. dunno when the hell are we goin to meet again or wad. sigh.
⥠i didnt know how hard i could cry
9:49 AM